Written by: Maria Elouisa E. Enerlan
It is a mystery we fall in love. It is a mystery how it happens. It is mystery when it comes. It is a mystery why some love grows and some love fails.You can analyze this mystery and look for reasons and causes, but you will never do anymore than take the life out of this experience. Just as life itself, is something more than the sum of bones and muscles and electrical pulses in the body. Love is something more than the sum of interest and affections and commonalities that two people share. And just as life itself is a gift that comes and goes as its own time, so too, the coming of love must be taken as an unfathomable gift that cannot be questioned in its ways. Sometimes, hopefully at least once in your life, the gift of love will come to you in full flower, and you will take hold if it and celebrate in all in its inexpressible beauty.
This is the dream we all share. More often, it will come and take hold of you, celebrate you for a brief moment then move on. When this happens for young people, they too often try to grasp the love and hold it to them, refusing to see that it is a gift freely given and a gift that just as freely moves away. When they fall out of love, or the person they love feels the spirit of love leaving, they try desperately to reclaim the love that is lost rather than accepting the gift for what is was, then moving on. They want answers where there are no answers. They want to know what is wrong with them that make the other person no longer love them, or they try to get their lover to change, thinking that if some small things were different love would bloom again. They blame their circumstances and say that if they go far away and start a new life together, their love will grow. They try to give meaning to what has happened. But there is no meaning beyond love itself, and until they accept its own mysterious ways, they live in a sea of misery.
You need to know this about love, and to accept it. You need to treat what it brings you with kindness. If you had yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself, there is nothing wrong with you. love just didn’t choose to meet in the other persons heart. If you find someone else in love with you and you don’t love him/her, feel honored that love came at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return. Do not take advantage. Do not cause pain. How you deal with love is how love will deal you, and all our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are very different. If you fall in love with another, and he/she falls in love with you, and then love choose to leave, do not try to reclaim or assess blame. Let it go.
There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know it in time, but time itself will choose the moment. Remember you don’t choose love. LOVE CHOOSES YOU! All you do is accept it for all of it is a mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing then reach out and give it away. Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you. give it to others who seem poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in any way you can. This is where so many lovers go wrong. Having been so long without love, they understand love only as a need. They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and they begin to look at love as something that flows to them rather than from them. In the first blush of new love they are filled to overflowing, but as their love cools they revert to seeing their love as a need. They cease to be someone who generates love instead becomes someone who seeks love. They forgot that the secret of love is that it is a GIFT, and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away.
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